Marriage is a sacred bond. It’s an everlasting commitment to be there for one another, through sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or worse, til death do you part. But, sadly, for many people, marriage doesn’t quite pan out that way. There are so many bumps in the road of life that many people end up with popped tires, rattling engines, and squeaky brakes. Some people chose to leave that path halfway through, while others suffer through until the bitter end, regretting that they never took the time to make their relationship more successful and meaningful.

Before it gets to that point, it’s vital to stop and look at a map—take advice and listen to the key secrets to a lasting and successful marriage.

They’re really not so secret once you take a step back and examine the terrain ahead.

Marry Someone You Trust, and Trust the One You Marry

Any relationship, marriage or not, cannot exist without trust as the foundation. If you don’t trust the person you’re with, you have no hope of making it through life with them. You will constantly be doubting their love for you, questioning their motives, and casting aspersions on their actions. In time, those barrages against the person you love will wear them down, and they’ll give you a reason not to trust them. Why would they not? You already don’t trust their motives; they might as well fulfill your expectations.

When you start from a place of trust, however, that sad story gets flipped upside down. Trust as a foundation only builds on itself. When you marry someone you trust, and trust the one you marry, you end up creating a safe haven within your marriage. Your partner should be your best friend and your confidante, the one whom you trust more than anyone else. If you don’t have that, it may be time to reevaluate the ground you stand on. The most successful relationships have nothing but trust at their core.

Understand That Marriage Takes Hard Work and Dedication

No one in the history of the world has ever made marriage out to be easy. It’s not easy to live with someone, share finances with them, make mutual decisions about kids with them, and it’s definitely not easy to blend two families together. But, with all of that said, marriage can be one of the most rewarding relationships you invest in in life.

When you take the time to understand that a successful marriage takes hard work and dedication, you’ll be much better off. It’s the expecting true love to be a walk in the park that throws people off. They think that if a relationship or a marriage takes rolling up the sleeves, then it’s past saving. That’s simply not true. The best and most successful marriages are the ones that are forged in the fires of adversity.

Never Compare Your Own Marriage to Someone Else’s

This is the number one mistake that people make when it comes to marriage and romantic relationships in general. They think that marriages are comparable—that because someone else doesn’t have the same issues that they have that they’re not also working through something.

Everyone has problems. Everyone. Even the most put-together couple on your block has fought about something major. The only difference between someone else’s marriage and your own is that you get an intimate look into your own marriage.

When you’re trying to make your marriage as successful as can be, the only thing you can do to ensure that success is to focus on your own marriage and no one else’s. That really is the biggest secret to a successful marriage.